Realms may not be quite there yet, but it looks like there’s been a lot of progress, something every other update changelog since the realm client release (almost a year and a half ago).
Regarding the userlist… well, I’d rather refer to the thread on policy for that. But in short, being too connected is part of the problem. It might be better if you just saw the character profile for the realm you’re in, though. Or simply names for people on in other realms.