Hi! Hello, everyone. I planned to open a magic props store a long time ago, but I haven’t finished it for a long time. So I want to seek help and advice. This is the ID of the room: A shimmering path #ccp7qpm9gbrk70sfqlv0 ，So I ask for some help, thank you!
2 Likes
I gave it a quick look, cleaned up some descriptions and exits, created back routes and gave house, temple and forest an area giving you ownership to them all.
Now what to do.
- All three areas require an about and rules section.
- Further rooms can get added to the new areas by set room area = area name
- The exits are still mostly held quite basic. A customization of these can give the shop and forest additional moody vibes and dictate the feeling.
- Little note about the Attic. A repeated usage of ‚there is‘ can cause reading exhaustion. Feel free to snoop around in various domiciles in wolfery to get inspired on how to write an enticing furnishing description.
In general can the academy of learning (public teleport) be helpful in figuring out the first steps of building, further more specific questions we can then solve in a personal manner. (We should really add a ‚building checklist‘ to the academy. )
1 Like
Thank you. I will modify it according to some questions you said!
1 Like
Is this public yet, if not I would be willing to help if you still want it.
1 Like
Yes, I think it is only this place that is open.
1 Like
I dropped by to take a quick look. It’s a cute little place!
Here’s some feedback for you.
Try to write your exit messages considering that there will be the character name prepended to them. They should be in third person present.
Someone Went to the magic shop
This doesn’t read as a sentence because ‘Went’ is capitalised and it’s past tense.
Someone Into the house
Someone Push the door to enter (the doorbell jingles)
These don’t form into a sentence.
Someone disappeared in front of the mirror
It’s almost there, but it needs to stay in present (and you forgot a period in the end of the sentence).
You seem to mix up past and present in your room descriptions and it amkes it a confusing read. Consider this bit:
The fog covered the view, making the area look very hazy. Plants afraid of sunlight flourish here.
You switch tenses mid-paragraph. Is the fog still there? To make things easy try to keep to present tense (that also aligns nicely to the rest of the world).
About half of the rooms don’t have autosweep set. Prefer to have it on unless the room specifics say it should be off.
1 Like
Thank you for your help! I will continue to improve these places!
2 Likes
Could I help? If you don’t mind
1 Like
Of course, no problem. Thank you very much if you can!
2 Likes
Ok great! When can we meet at?
1 Like
Hello, I’m sorry I haven’t read the news these days. When are you free
2 Likes
Oh, I’m free any day you can message me or mail me doesn’t matter to me
1 Like