Would it be possible to get a third color for tags - for those ones you might consider, under the right circumstances, but aren’t going out actively seeking.
Let’s take, for example, [watersports]. While I’m not going to go out hunting for it, if it happens I’m not chuffed - it’s water, it washes out. So I’m ambivalent about it, but don’t really want to go fielding questions (and I’ve had many) about a tag I don’t have either white or red.
Yellow would be a good middle ground.
Or, say, [ageplay] - since you can’t have it white if you’re cool with the post-puberty but not ‘adult’ set, but would like it red for the pre-pubescent set. Currently I have that as a custom text, but since it’s white they just see the tag and don’t read it.
You do have the opportunity to clarify tags. Once you have met people and RP’d with them you will largely know what to expect. If something crosses the line over your limits, you always have the right to either ask them to do otherwise, or explain and bail.
The burden is on the positive tag bearer to indicate their style or limits, if they are pinning that tag upon their facade. If you are into some of it but not all of it, you always have the right to put that in your tag and make sure a brand new partner is aware of that. Similarly if you have a negative tag, you are burdened to explain any exceptions to that.
My take is that it complicates something that works because it largely only applies to matchmaking. Tags are really a way to explain yourself, not a shield you use to gatekeep, in my opinion… and a way to protect the relationships you have with people, by explaining a thing was tagged or disliked, instead of it seeming to come from nowhere. Pre-scene should be as simple as possible- there are many wolves in the hills.