A good day builders. I am humbly requesting to add my area to connect to the Rastina Docks. It is currently connected via hidden means. If you feel it fits the area, I would be most pleased to have my area attached. I have already discussed it with the areas owner. The code for the beginning access point is #cco8p169gbrk70se642g
I hope to hear from you soon.
Dearest Regards,
Captain Kugnar
I took alook; nice stuffs!
Some things to consider:
help build areas in game)Exit messages is simple enough.
And I wasn’t sure if I’d need to make a whole new area as I’m hoping to add to an existent area; which is the dock in Rastina. I could make a map of the ship, but didn’t think there was much to it since it’s like any of the buildings.
I appreciate your feedback and will work on making exit/entrance messages. As for adding a map to the area, I would like to understand the need a little better. I don’t mind making one, would just have to hunker down and sketch out how that’ll work.
Please absolutely make a new area – it doesn’t need a map per se, but there are enough rooms to have a benefit of it all grouped together. It’s fine if the ship area is a subarea of the docks (those nest just fine).
Roger that o7 I’ll investigate further into the building dynamics.
I have done all of your suggestions! I await more feedback.
Just a few notes on the exits:
Found a couple exits where the messages are still empty:
The Bridge -> Main Deck
Onboard the Growling Grizz -> Climb the Shroud
Crows Nest -> Climb Down
Below Deck -> Captain’s Quarters: the travel message says ‘knocks on the door.’ It’s much nicer if it includes the actual movement too or it might be a notch confusing. Something like ‘knocks on the door and enters.’ maybe?
Otherwise I think thisarea is pretty much done and is in a good shape. Fix the ones above and I’ll get you linked.
I’m pretty sure Asher Vulpara is aware of the project, given you have the way onto the ship, right?
Some optional notes:
Galena’s Fishery:
Room Desc: While the writing about Galena is solid, some more description about the environment itself that Galena is in could improve the room further. Galena’s description should be in a paragraph while the room itself is in its own. If Galena has as much presence as the room suggests, its entirely possible that her paragraph should take lead.
More environment notes will help communicate to the users if they’re inside or outside while visiting the location
Exit: Rastina Docks: Travel: leaves with fish!
► While it is self-only travel message, “What if the user doesn’t purchase fish?”
It’s always difficult to judge what a character is or isn’t doing in a location or even sometimes their mode of travel. Matters to keep in mind as you write things which determine how other people’s characters behave or even while writing the description of a room. Best to stick to what they can observe rather than telling them how they observe.
Exit: The Back Door: Name:
►Is this a back door inside a building, a gate around the side of a stall or other? More info about the Fishery will help communicate what type of exit this should be. It may be entirely appropriate as is.
Exit: The Back Door: Leave: “gives Galena the secret salute to go beyond the back door.”
► It’s possible that a character who doesn’t know the salute might bumble into displaying this to others in the room. A RP note regarding an IC secret on the exit itself and in the area collapse tab could further detail this.
► Possibly renaming to Back Door (IC Secret) or something similar? Alternatively reapproaching the travel message to suggest Galena giving approval with soandso. in order to skip the idea of a IC secret that its very likely many players may not know as they bumble in while exploring.
The Growling Grizz
Room Desc: 3 references to The sailing ship, The ship itself, The ship was
► Reads repetitive, starting the sentences in more varied way could improve the room further.
Onboard the Growling Grizz:
Exit: Climb the Shroud: leave/arrival/travel: Messages are blank.
• Write exit messages. ((This one is non optional))
Exits: General notes: Travel messages: Actions performed for the user which other users will see.
► While helpful for boosting theme of the area, it imposes actions on characters which may otherwise not do those actions as a character. Something to be mindful of while writing.
Crows Nest
Exit: Climb Down: leave/arrival/travel: Messages are blank.
• Write exit messages. ((This one is non optional))
The Bridge
Exiit: Main Deck: leave/arrival/travel: Messages are blank.
• Write exit messages. ((This one is non optional))
–
((Some of these notes are obviously duplicate to Shinyuu’s notes - just note taking with fresh eyes myself as well. Please keep in mind that other than the empty exits mentioned, most of this is just opinion feedback and you can do with it what you will so long as the area parent owner is satisfied.))
The writing for the pirate ship is good in most places!
Just some exits to clean up where things are missing and otherwise some optional considerations on if you want to continue with acting on behalf of people’s characters in your exit formats. Other than that, I don’t see any reason why this shouldn’t be linked at the area parent owner’s convenience.
In good faith, clean up those exits I mentioned and otherwise get in touch with Asher to sort things out.
I have fixed all of those suggested.
And yes, I have received Ashers blessing to add it in.
Now for me to go over the other builders wall of suggestions >>
Got the suggested notes from Shinyuu fixed.
Rewrote a few things to reflect your feedback. I’ll have to hunker down and relook at some of the areas to make more feature filled writing so ship descriptions don’t seem too redundant.
Certainly not required rewrites, but if you agree with the sentiment then I’m glad to provide with my experience.
Area officially linked to the docks.
Thank you for all the help <3