I'm out for now

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I’m not really sure how to address this.

On one had, saying nothing means disappearing without warning. We’ve all had friends on platforms like this just phase out of existence… it’s not fun.

On the other hand, saying something feels overly bombastic. “Who’s this guy and why should we care if he’s gone? Get over yourself.”

But I figured I might as well say something, and if the topic’s a waste of time and space, it’s easily enough removed.

I’d already decided to take a short break from wolfery, about a week ago. But as I’ve thought on it, I think it’s best I extend it indefinitely. I might come back, but I don’t intend to.

I play Draft, a chocobo named Lunaga, and a panda named Spectrum, that’s who’s going, for what it’s worth.

As for why, if that matters, I’ve got a few reasons.

The biggest is: I feel like I make Wolfery worse for a lot of people. I play a young character, and have a white ageplay tag one one of my adult ones. I’ve seen lots of evidence that just having me around ruins the site for people, even if I’m just on the online list. And I can’t just appear offline.

Secondary to that is… I feel like I end up wasting a lot of time, mine and other people’s. My characters are static. People spend hours with what is, effectively, a cardboard cutout with some lame worldbuilding scribbled on the back. I spend a bunch of time making friends who aren’t real people, getting involved in plots that don’t want me in them, and in general finding excuses to take up space.

And tirtiary… I am not as horny as I used to be. Some people who DO know me eagerly categorize me to themselves and others as an easy, guaranteed lay. Which leads to a lot of turning people down, disappointing them, and occasionally pissing them off, when they come under the impression that ‘Draft not tonguefucking their asshole’ is a personal slight. But the mute and report functions can fix that. It’s mostly the first two things.

I’m on discord, @draft_is_cute, if people wanna keep in contact for whatever reason. Sorry about the novel, but like. Fuck it, y’know?

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See, we tell you that, but then you DO it and it’s kind of hot.

Take care, Draftie.

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Hey Draft, it was really lovely to meet you. I think you’re a lovely person and regret that I didn’t get more time to spend getting to know you. Thanks for letting us know and I hope you’ll be doing okay. There’s always a place for y’all here, just want you to know that.

-yana

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Oh, Draft… No…

I… I know you and I have hardly spoken, but, it breaks my heart to know you are feeling like this- unloved, unappreciated, and unwanted. As best I know of you, you are a wonderful person, and I don’t think there is any requirement for you to behave a certain way or meet certain desires from people- be they sexual or otherwise. Please don’t go away for long- breaks are important, but there are people here who love you dearly and who will miss you so much. I didn’t even see this post until a friend of mine mentioned it with greater sadness than I can fairly express.

If you must go for your comfort, I understand, but… If there is anything any of us can do to make you feel more comfortable with staying, please, let us know. You are dearly cared for. :broken_heart:

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Well shit.

You’ll be missed, dude.

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Every interaction has been pleasant, and I’ve enjoyed seeing you around even when we don’t interact. You’ve brightened the atmosphere for me, the whole time! I understand, though. You can’t help how things feel. It’s gotta be ~for you~ first. You’ll always be welcome back!

So long, space cowboy.

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Weirdly enough, I hate to say it – but if I poof too. It’s for much the same reasons.

I have been feeling the same way – especially when so many have either completely disregarded my “existence” entirely or are flat out rude and mean. I’ve even had quite a few negative experiences here myself that had me teetering on the brink personally, and due to those – I stopped being online for quite a while.

I just take up space and finding no one even willing to try being a friend – much less anything more.

Your presence will be missed by those who consider you a friend, for sure.

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I think I might have given a bad impression.

People have been kind to me. I have good friends here, who I am keeping contact with where possible. There have been a few bad eggs, but no more than the average for any well-curated social platform.

I don’t feel ignored. People give me their time, their patience, and their affection pretty openly and regularly. I am the inadequacy, not the platform or the other people on it.

Nobody else has made me feel that way, either. I’ve made observations of others, and measured myself. I fail consistently at living up to what good people deserve. Failing despite really trying hard is painful and exhausting.

I am sorry to fail to offer the comeraderie you were hoping for. I hope you find a more welcoming home in Wolfery soon.

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I know we’re not that close, but hearing you feel that way is disheartening. No one should have to feel that way because a few people are intolerant. I would encourage you to try to ignore those people, and to continue to enjoy those who are deserving of you. That said, you do what you think it right for you, and know you will be missed if you do leave.

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I requested staff unlist this to prevent it clogging up the forums long-term. Just for the record. Im not being censored or whatever.

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Three weeks of intense introspection and a lot of support later: Nah, fuck all that, I’m the best.