Heirloom Shop / Replacement for Albivillier's Delight

Realm & Areas
#1

Hello there, this would be my first contribution here, and if it’s not to everyone’s liking, don’t worry! I have 2 ideas up my sleeve to explain

I would like to change the already old and abandoned strip club for something quieter, you know, a store of those, for the convenience of becoming a place of small talk and more content due to its options and variety

This is the ID of the room #cdmiup69gbrgopjb2b20, I will be more than flattered to receive both a positive and negative response, as well as constructive as well as destructive, I need help and learning since this is my first construction that I would like to try, then you will have the two ideas I’m working right now on one

1- weapons store (Currently I refrain from working on this one due to the fact that it can become somewhat sensitive and perhaps not so suitable for sinder)

2- A steampunk style flying city, This is possibly a job that I will be able to carry out since I could notice that they have added a airship hangar, perfect for what I am looking for, soon, maybe in 2-3 days, I will give information and the ID, so that you all can notice that such is going

i love you all - kisses

signature: Cinder the spider

#2

I gave it a look. There’s a lot work to be done to make it fit for a central location, and I’m not really convinced it makes sense to specifically replace Albivillier’s. After all, it’s not like it’s a real property taking up actual space.

Your writing would need some cleanups. There’s very few periods used (one room literally has not a single period in its description); capitalisation is all over the place, too.

Content wise, I’m not really convinced there’s any reason a single shop should sell gardening supplies, furniture, musical instruments, and weapons. Add turkeys to the list and it becomes a Walmart and will require a hefty parking space; you’ll see it just doesn’t belong to a tiny town that is Sinder (although it can totally work elsewhere).

It is an interesting draft, but it will take a bit more work to make this a proper public location.

I really really can’t imagine why Sinder would need a weapons store.

Isn’t the current airship heading toward the clockwork city that is pretty much a steampunk thingy? Maybe you could work on extending that one instead?

1 Like
#3

Thank you very much for your answer, I must say that I am already really aware of what you say about the inconsistencies in the texts, which is partly a problem, because English is not my main language, I usually use a translator and try arrange it to look its best

But I guess I may have other ideas up my sleeve if none of the 3 options have inconsistencies to be added

thats is why i said that i am not working on that one until i get the answer, and now, i have it ^^

well, yes, I am taking a moment to read the area, but anyway I am going to see what I can contribute, I have things on my mind but they are very, let’s say, a town hall should be a good idea?