So, while I have enjoyed my time on Wolfery with the few people who I’ve been able to maintain in contact. I have felt increasingly pushed out by the community at large.
So I am currently debating taking a break from Wolfery at large, or at the very least limiting myself to just Primal Palms.
I thought I was making friends, but I feel like I’m just a burden or been too awkward as of late. And with my depression, people leaving rooms the instant I arrive or seeming to avoid me in other ways isn’t helping my mental state at this time.
Communities do tend to change over time. People come and go, and whether they can make time for you or are into the same things as you also changes.
I have personally shifted away from roleplaying with just any strangers to a small circle on most platforms I’m on, and even then I’m not as active anymore. It seems to me this may be a global trend?
However, that it is having such a negative effect on you is rather concerning. You’re never a burden for reaching out and trying to socialize on a platform meant for that, like here. Such communities could not exist without the people, and you’re very much a person.
Are you getting treatment for it? I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist last week, and it’s so much better to have a future where I no longer have to just kind of rough it out.
I’ve been getting treatment for many, many years and it’s only on the back of another not-so-nice-thing that I had enough of a break though to get the beast under control.
But feeling avoided, feeling shunned, getting ghosted or feeling such still hurts. It may not be you, it may be you, people don’t like to say ‘this bothers me’ But for us who feel cut off, it makes it worse.
I’m around, if you need someone else who is only keeping the beast at bay with his fist in it’s throat. I think taking a break would both help and hurt.
The biggest thing is treatment. Depression can not be defeated in one final battle. At least not with what i’ve learned and helped others with. You can cage it, beat it back into the cage when it gets out, patch up your wounds and learn to live. But a professional is needed for a lot of that.
In my case, I have been trying to fix things around concerning one of my characters, but whenever I had a shot at this, someone would come out there and spread lies about my character, which led me to believe they were doing this maliciously.
People will always be people, in the end, as frustrating as that is. I can read people a bit better online then in RL and yet, people won’t say most of the time, so yes. I feel your frustration.
If they’re spreading falsehoods - and you can verify this - you can report them. Depending on the nature of the falsehoods, the manner of their execution, and whether or not they ignore the warnings of a moderator the person spreading said falsehoods could be temporarily or permanently banned.
I believe the experiences shared in this thread first and foremost highlight that we should avoid blaming ourselves for how others act.
It is inevitable that within any group of people some will take things too far through no fault of one’s own, and it is imperative to set boundaries when conversing with other people to avoid being harmed (as much) when that happens. Knowing not to blame oneself helps a lot.
I mean… yes, it’s good not to overanalyze things, but if it is your actions or presentation that people are reacting to, you should at least be open-eyed about that and accept the trade-off.
Say you come into a room dressed in the colours of a football team and/or shouting their slogans. Not only are you making a statement about a team, but showing support for and likely membership of football fandom in general.
Some may decide not to interact with you based in part on that; and from their perspective it may be reasonable for them to do so.
